"And lower unto them (parents) the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they did care for me when I was little. [Surah al-Isra': 23]
[Source courtesy of Islamic Media]
As I share this video by Sheikh Shady Al-Suleiman on "Respecting the parents", I'm constantly reminded to recite the above dua in my daily prayer. Truly, The Prophet SAW mentioned that 3 things continue to benefit a Muslim even after death - charity which he had given (which continues to benefit others), beneficial knowledge which he had left behind (authored or taught), and supplication on his behalf by a righteous child (narrated by Saheeh Muslim). May Allah SWT accepts my dua for my beloved parents, ameen.
"Show gratitude to Me and thy parents: to Me is thy final goal." [Surah Luqman: 14]. Truly, Allah is pleased with one when he has pleased his parents - "And serve Allah. Ascribe nothing as partner unto Him. (Show) kindness unto parents... Lo! Allah loves not such as are proud and boastful." [Surah an-Nisa: 36].
Ustaz Zhulkeflee elaborated on one's adab towards his/her parents and it starts by being shukur (showing gratitude to Allah SWT and one's parents) and he outlines the 3 criteria of being grateful. In my humble opinion, this is an important point. Being grateful to one's parents makes him grateful to Allah SWT and ungratefulness to them is ungratefulness to Allah SWT. One who does not prove to be thankful to his parents, he is lacking thankfulness to Allah SWT, nauzubillahi min zaliq!
Among the emphasis on pleasing one's parents, Ustaz outlined one's adab to parents vs. the acts of disobedience. Truly, among the major sins is disobedience to parents. Narrated by Abu Bakar RA - Our beloved Prophet SAW said, "Shall I inform you of the greatest sins?". We the companions said, "Certainly, O messenger of Allah!" He (SAW) said: "Associating anyone with Allah, disobedience to parents". [Source: Bukhari & Muslim].
View this video for impact. I personally feel that when one's parents are pleased with him, they will freely make beautiful dua, as highlighted by the video, coz truly the dua and zikr of believing parents are mustajab (accepted), ameen. Similarly, the danger when one's parents (mother-in-law included) are displeased, what is uttered in their hearts and speech out of that displeasure will be accepted, nauzu billahi min zaliq.
Ustaz also covered how one can ta'dib (teach and nurture) their young kids. This is essential especially since we are relating to the relationship schema and both sides of the same 'coin' are provided guidance. View Ustaz's slides here.
Other good references which I benefitted from include: